Another Christian event. I only went because I wanted to spend time with my friends. I hoped and prayed that God would speak to my heart, despite how much I’d much rather be at home. But FOMO convinced me to say yes.
During worship, we sang Oceans, a song I hadn’t thought much about in a while. But this song, as many songs do, triggered a memory of a time in my life about 4 or 5 years ago. “Oceans” had just taken off in popularity and was a regular at the church I attended. During this time, I was finishing my MAT program at USF and praying for a paid internship- basically a paid teaching position with the internship credits I needed. (When I say credits, I really mean all the paperwork that goes with an internship). Well, despite passing all the required teaching exams and even though I had obtained a letter from the district saying I was employable within the county, it seemed as if no school would be willing to hire someone who hadn’t graduated yet.
Insert my favorite phrase: but God. I had gone on 7 different interviews at 6 different schools. I finally told God on my last interview: “This is it. If you want me to finish my degree in an unpaid internship, I will. Work this out for my best and for Your glory [which are always intertwined, by the way].”
Would you believe that last interview was the school for me?! And it was my home until I recently quit for various reasons.
But when I heard “Oceans” tonight, it reminded me that the same God who kept my eyes above the waves in my job search then is the same God who is keeping my eyes above the waves in my job search now. His Spirit is still leading me “where my faith is beyond borders.”
And, tonight, I felt God impressing on me to act in faith. As Tim Tebow was speaking about hope, I felt the need to thank God for the job He was going to provide for me this week.
I said, “Wait, what? I don’t want to write that, God; it’s way too specific. What if I write that and You don’t give me a job this week?”
So I battled fear, doubt, and uncertainty as I questioned if I’d really heard God or if I was crazy and just caught up in wishful thinking. I have always heard of how our words can shift the atmosphere and that the power of life or death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).
So, despite my inner thoughts, I wrote down what I felt impressed on my heart:
I figured there was no harm in writing a prayer down. I wouldn’t have to share it with anybody. That way, if I was wrong, no one would know.
But God revels in faith that is bold. Oh, He will take any faith and all of the faith you give Him, no matter how big or small. But I think there is something about bold faith that captures His heart.
So on the way home, my friends and I were talking about a trip that we had begun to plan to take together. The more I had been considering it, the more I had to ask myself if it was wise for me to travel in my current financial state. I told them I would like until Friday to try to decide. When I told them I needed time to think because of my lack of a job, they asked me if I was “expecting” or “hoping” to hear back about a job by the end of this week.
“I’m trusting I will hear something this week,” I told them and then proceeded to tell them what God told me to write down.
Not even five minutes later, I checked my email, a habit most jobseekers understand, not really expecting anything because it was 10:30 on a Sunday night. Yet, there it is. An email from a person I had had a phone interview with this past week. I opened it, expecting a polite but disappoint response of: “Thank you for your writing samples, but your skills do not meet our company’s current needs,” or some other way of informing me I wasn’t a good fit.
BUT GOD.
Instead, I opened that email to read, “We have an article we’d like you to write to see how you do in our workflow. We will pay you for your time as well.”
I don’t know what will come of this opportunity, but I am glad I was obedient to write in faith what God told me. I’m glad I shared my faith prayer with my friends. I’m glad God gave me this story. Don’t doubt in the dark what God has told you in the light. Even when you can’t see, keep expecting. Keep hoping. Keep trusting.
An apple a day... 